Day 5 - Empowerment - Attitude

Attitude shapes our lives.

If you have a 'victim' attitude - then everything that happens is the world against you.

If you have a 'pessimistic' attitude - then everything happens is sinister and a lead up to the next bad thing.

However if you have a 'positive' outlook then things never seem to be too bad.

There is always a silver lining - good to come from the bad - or a reason for the event occurring that you can use to your own benefit e.g. to grow, learn and better yourself.

I want to be able to control my attitude to always see the good.

I want to know if even when I simply don't feel like it - can I make myself feel good, happy, energetic, powerful, refreshed, switched on, capable, and / or motivated?

How would you go about it? How would you make it possible?

I have tried in the past to make little diary notes like; avoided bitching today :o)
with a smiley face as congratulations to myself.

However this isn't a life changing action. It isn't big enough for my liking.

I have tried to go all week (then reverted to all day) without thinking of a negative thought.. This is harder than you think. I found myself monitoring my every thought and beating myself up - then not even knowing what the difference between negative thoughts and general observations.

I was sending myself crazy with thoughts like: She has a thread loose on her shirt - ooops is that nasty to think - no because it is just an observation - I am not thinking she is un-groomed and unkempt I am just noticing..... - oh! now I have brushed on thoughts of her being unkempt because of a thread - these are worse thoughts than when I wasn't trying to be positive....

I need something easier and more practical.


I was talking to a guy at work the other day about stretches, exercise and strength. He said he tells himself every time he walks through a door way - it's time to tighten his core muscles. It has become second nature - he just finds himself doing it - rather than telling himself to do it.

A saying I am quite drawn to with this subject is; fake it til you make it...

Also another factor that comes to mind is - motion = emotion.



Depressed people don't move much - and when they do they move like a depressed person - head down - face long and sad - slow and small movements.

Compare that to someone who is completely happy and energetic - big movements - big smile - straight back - facing the world with eyes that are alive.

Some studies have shown: If you have a depressed person mimic the motions of a happy person - they are unable to feel depressed while they are acting the 'happy' motion. Smiling for 20 minutes a day has actually helped some depressed people to over come depression...

(I am not a doctor and I not telling anyone to stop taking their meds - but what can it hurt to prescribe yourself 20 minutes of smiling a day?)

It works the other way too - walk around like a depressed person. Hang your head, walk slow, put on your sad and depressed face - you will actually get yourself to feel depressed and sad.

Or try jumping up - putting on a huge smile and walking around the room like you are unstoppable. You are totally successful and everything you touch goes perfectly. While you are acting it out - you actually feel that way.

I have recently had to put it to the test. My job can seem big and scary and can make me feel totally inadequate and hopeless. While I was going through the 8 weeks of training before I could even start the job - I was petrified some days. However walking into that training room with confidence, a smile a feeling of being successful, and knowing what I was doing, actually helped me get through the training and become a full-time employee.

I completely believe that if I was to have entered training with thoughts of - this is too hard - I can't do this - I'll never pass - there is too much to learn - then I would have failed.



So how can I put all of this together and make it work for me in every day life?.....

• When I sit at the computer to write - I could sit with the confidence I believe Stephen King would sit with.... Would a posture or some other reminder help?

I think this is a fresh and new idea that I will have to work on for a bit longer.. I do think there are answers to be had here. I just need to continue asking better and better questions to get there...

I do believe though that simple actions like smiling - sitting straight - carrying myself with good posture and seeing life through happy eyes is a great way to start making life changes that will impact me in big ways.



I need to delve deeper into what makes my state passionate rather dispassionate. What do I personally do that makes me feel excited? Perhaps it is a good idea to act out some of these states in the mirror and observe myself. I need to know what it feels like. Then perhaps I can make the feeling come and go as I need it to.....

When I ask better questions, I get better answers...

Day 4 - Empowerment - Why

Today is 10 reasons why I need to change my life now.

This exercise is designed to keep the momentum going and make me realise there is no other option, but to create a better life for myself and my family. Not later, not tomorrow, not next year - but right here and and right now.

1. I know I can do better - be better - have better - deserve better. So why would I deny myself another day? I need to change so I can give myself a better life.
2. To build strength. The stronger I am the more I can achieve. The changes I need to make are not hard, it just takes focus and organisation - an organised schedule with focus = success!
3. To find myself. I need to find the real me - I need to be in touch with me at my core. Not the me who does the shopping, cleaning, work and paying the bills. But the real me - my spirit my soul my true essence. I believe this is where real peace and happiness are.
   
4. For my future. I know what my future holds if I don't change. Mediocrity. Average life, without passion or excitement. Average life being an average person with average days. I will not settle for that. I want an extraordinary life. I want a fantastic life which is exciting and passionate, rewarding and fulfilling.
5. I will no longer just be a leaf riding the rapids of life - going with the flow and just accepting what is thrown at me. I am pulling out a great big oar and directing myself to success. There is a strange balance I need to find between - being spiritual and not resisting life (what you resist persists) and being focused and driven. I believe the two go hand in hand when you are in the right place - it is just a matter of working out how.
6. The future of my family. I will not have my children growing up questioning why life is cruel is to them, questioning why they can't have or achieve what the other kids have. My children will be brought up by a strong and confident woman who has her thoughts straight and can guide her children to the best of her abilities.
7. My rocking chair test. I pretend I am sitting in my rocking chair at age 50-60-70-80 etc and see what I would think and feel about my life decisions. What if I never try being a writer. What if I never hang-in there for 6-12 months and give myself a fit and toned body. What if I never tried my best at anything - how much regret and resentment will I feel for myself from my rocking chair..
8. I feel life is like school. If it is compulsory for me to be here the least I can do is do it well. Why settle to be the bored uninspired 'D' grade student when I can be the passionate and excited 'A' student who is proud of her achievements and likes where she is headed.
9. Basically I know where my life is headed is now - I have a pretty clear picture of what I will live like if nothing is to change. However what I have I got to lose from giving it my all? If it doesn't work the first time then perhaps it will the second or the third. Every try is still a learning experience. I want to have a life better than I ever dreamed possible. I am capable of so much more. I want so much more. I will not wake up at age 45 feeling totally lost and hopeless. I am going to create a meaningful life, I am never going to give up until I am living at a standard I think my family and I deserve.
10. To fulfill my dreams, goals and purpose.

How can I break through where I am now - and start living my new life? What practical steps will take me to the next level.

• Daily focus. To remember everyday that this day is going to be better. To remember everyday what my goals are and what steps I am required to take.
  

• Measurement. The ability to measure my success and progress. I am a visual person, if I can see on a graph, or if I can look at figures and see an improvement in my actions and results I am driven to continue and try harder.

• Start the day in a way that is beneficial. I hate seeing people rock up to work still pulling sleep out of their eyes and complaining that they haven't had breakfast yet. I always get up early enough that I can have breakfast and a few minutes (half hour) to myself before getting started. Perhaps I can still better this time. Perhaps if I work out before work everyday (and stop letting the fact that I work 12 hour shifts stop me - or make it all seem too hard). Perhaps if before work I simply review all of my goals....
  

• Learn how to control emotions. If I am in control of my emotions then how could I ever be anything but on the right track... Rather than getting caught up in the pettiness that goes on around us - if I can control my emotions - I will remain focused and on track. I will not become sidetracked - put off - or distracted for long periods of time. I would still expect frustration from time to time - but frustration is great - it shows us that things need to change and it pushes us to find solutions.... In fact I need to learn what all emotions are trying to tell us. With that information I would be able to read and guide myself a lot more effectively.

• Along with measuring successes - I would need to create a structured review process. Like I weigh in once a week for my weight - I should set weekly, monthly and quarterly targets and review the progress I have made - and then review what changes I can make to better my progress in the coming months.

Well I got more out of today's exercise than I had imagined... It has left me with thoughts to ponder.

It is amazing what you can come up with, if you just ask yourself some good questions...

Day 3 - Empowerment - Core Beliefs

I believe everything that happens to us - leaves us with a belief.

Everything that happened to us in childhood - shaped us into who were are now.

There are things we all believe that are not healthy for us.

There are things we all believe that we don't realise we believe...

Today I am going to delve into what some of my beliefs are - both positive and negative..


Beliefs that have a positive influence on my life.

• I can and will be so much more
• I am destined for success
• I am capable of creating the life I want
• I will celebrate large successes in my life
• I will write novels - I was born to write
  
• I will use adversity to create strength and power
• I have a kind heart
• Others like me
• Others can feel my warmth
• My pets are happy and enjoy the lifestyle I provide them
• I will break the cycle of family problems
• I will create a beautiful, loving home and family
• I will be a good mother
• I will work to attain all of my goals
• Daily actions towards my goals create results
• I am worth it
• I deserve to be happy
• I will age gracefully
• Aging is beautiful
• My marriage will be happy and strong
• I can cope with what life throws at me
• I am strong
• I am resilient
  
• I am very fortunate
• I feel blessed and am in touch with my spiritual self
• I am guided by my spiritual self to make good decisions and always take the right path
• Everything happens for a reason - it will all work out
• In crisis I ask what am I meant to learn from this - I then work with it rather than resist
• I will blossom into a beautiful woman at age 30 and life will get better and better from there
  

Beliefs that have a negative influence on my life.

• I am not worthy of happiness
• I don't deserve all the wealth I want
• I deserve to feel bad
• I deserve to be treated poorly
• I am not good enough
• Dad doesn't love me because I'm not good enough. I am damaged goods
• My family abandoned me because I am not worth their love
• I never stick to anything - I know I will stuff it up or revert to the old me
• People don't like me
• I am a prickly person who people don't like
• My presence can have an immediate negative response on others
• I am so unpolished I am ugly and rough
• I will never have a brand new.......
• I will never make my dreams come true
• I've done bad things and deserve to feel bad
• I am odd

Beliefs I have held in the past - but have worked to let go of:

• I am a failure
• I need drugs and alcohol to get through
• The pain of life is unbearable
• I just want to die - it would be better than living
• I am powerless
• Life is horrible
• Life is cruel
• I am just waiting to get out of this hell hole called life
• There is no such thing as love - everyone treats everyone poorly
• Love is nothing but pain
• No one will ever be there for me - I am totally alone and don't deserve love
• I am so damaged no one will ever love me
• I am unlovable
• Everything I touch turns to disaster
• I am always sick
• I catch everything that goes around
• There is something wrong with me
• My life has been a disaster from the start
• What will go wrong next
• My dreams are childish and stupid
• Life is just for work and pain
• I hate myself
• I hate the world

***************

I see everyone of these beliefs as a pair of glasses through which you view the world. It is obvious the different life experiences you will be giving yourself wearing glasses from the bottom list as apposed to the top list.

We have the choice in every situation to view it however we want - to make the situation positive or negative. If we are unhappy - then that is our choice. If we are angry, upset or 'devastated' that too is our choice.

***************

Examples of how we are in control:

You're fired from your job (made redundant etc)

• Attitude one: This is the end of the world - I have given that company everything - they are a bunch of *&^%$##@@!!!!! - My life is ruined - this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me - what am I going to do now - I going to the pub to get good and messed up.

• Attitude two: Well this isn't what I was expecting to happen today. I wonder why it did happen today? There must be something else for me around the corner - I wonder what it will be - what opportunity will come from this - what job do I want that I would never have gone for while I was working here? I wonder where I'll be in three months.. A big desk ?- a higher wage - more job opportunities.

A loved one hasn't called you in a while:

• Attitude one: I cannot believe the lack of respect. What if something had happened to me and no one ever bothered to call - I deserve better than this he/she should call at least once a week - is that too much to ask for - aren't I important enough? - there are family things happening that he/she should know about - why do I always have to be the one to call - what about me? - I am the glue that holds everyone together - if it wasn't for me always busting my butt making sure everyone is in contact - well the family would just fall apart.

• Attitude two: Perhaps I should give ..... a call it's been a while.

That person really irks me:

• Attitude one: He's just idiot - I can't even stand looking at him. I can't believe he chose to do that - why would anyone in their right mind do that - look at him what a jerk. I can barely be civil to him - every time I talk to him he makes me so mad - I wish I never had to have anything to do with him again.

• Attitude two: What is it about him I don't like, and why? What we don't like in others is generally something we don't like about ourselves reflected..... We all do the best with what we have to work with at the time - perhaps he is having a hard time...

We have the ability to make these decisions every second of every day.

*******Your life is a reflection of your attitude*******

Day 2 - Empowerment - Exercise

Four things I should do but put off:

• Get healthy
• Writing
• Organising Finances
• Spring cleaning my life - getting rid of years of clutter

Why do I put it off?:

**Getting Healthy**

I guess like many people I have always associated getting healthy with pain. The pain of exercise - the pain of denying myself the foods I want. Plus there is the deeper level of losing weight is somehow losing a part of me - getting smaller means getting weaker (I know that probably doesn't make sense - but do emotions every really make sense?)

**Writing**

Fear of failure. Fear of a life long dream becoming destroyed. Fear of discovering I am not who I think I am. Fear.

**Organising Finances**

Overwhelmed by all the areas of finance. Overwhelmed with all the options, sources of information, choices. It seems like such a huge task to take on - my excuse is always that there just isn't enough time. But seriously - after health what other section deserves more attention and organisation than finances. To be organised financially creates freedom. I use to know where every cent went and had a super structured saving method. I want to get back to that.

**Spring Cleaning my life**

I have moved house 19 times in the last 10 years. I have hauled massive amounts of useless stuff to each and every house. My old bedroom at my dad's house is full of stuff - the shed at dad's house is full of stuff. There is piles of stuff in my life that I just don't need.

I put it off because honestly it is just a c*appy job. It is a big job and requires a trailer and dump runs and rummaging through dust - and making decisions about things I may one-day use, but could possibly through out.... Besides once you start you have to see it through to the end - the house will get messy - it will be like moving - mess everywhere - boxes half packed - piles of things to go to different places. Days and days of sorting through junk just doesn't seem appealing!



The pleasure I have had from not doing these tasks..

**Getting Healthy**

Eating what I want when I want
Chocolate...... MMMMmmmmm Chocolate
and Pizza - and chips and drinks and desserts!

**Writing**

I can blissfully dream about how one-day I will be a writer - I can watch the dream from a far and not have to invest myself into it - and don't have to run the risk of the pain of failure.

**Organising Finances**

I can buy what I want when I want. I don't have to stick to a budget at the book store or the pharmacy (two of my favourite places) - I don't have to be restrained, I am free to shop and spend.

**Spring Cleaning my life**

I can watch another TV show - read another book - go for a drive etc etc - isn't anything better than a week long cleaning frenzy?! I don't have to decide what to do with mountains of stuff, one object at a time.



What will it cost me if don't follow through and make these changes?

**Getting Healthy**

Quality of life. Possibly complications with pregnancy. Energy. Confidence. Personal power. Enjoyment of life. Fashion will always be to cover the bits I don't like. Adventure - I'd never go to a water park in this shape - or the beach - or hiking - or play a team sport. I won't be able to enjoy time with my children in the same way as I could if I was fit and energetic. Experiences, being self-conscious about my body keeps me from trying new things. My mum died very young - perhaps it could even cost me my life and it could cost my children their mother.....

**Writing**

My dream. My sense of self. My identity. I would feel like a failure for not trying. I would have the greatest sense of regret - and a horrible feeling of what-if, what-could-have-been? I would let myself down in the worst way possible. I also think that but not honouring who I am - I would never be the best mother, wife or woman I can be.

**Organising Finances**

Piece of mind. Our own home. Stability. Real financial freedom that comes with owning your own home. The luxury of not having to move at the end of a lease. There is a constant sense of disorganisation that I hate. I feeling of not doing the best we can. I sense of letting myself down. Once we have children disorganised finances will have a huge impact on them. Lack. Lack is actually problem - it feels good to be able to buy what you want on the spot - but in the long term it costs us holidays, travel and all the big items we could easily afford if we were organised.

**Spring Cleaning my life**

It costs me financially every time I move - I have to pay to transport all this stuff. It costs me space, and it costs me organisation - something I actually love. I believe your space reflects your mind set. Cluttered house = cluttered mind. It will cost me the satisfaction of having our own home when I see it full of things we don't need. I like everything to have a home, be neat and organised (labels all facing the same way - all the same size books to be on the same shelf etc.) It costs me piece of mind and makes me feel like a hoarder.



The benefits I'll gain by taking action in all of these areas...

**Getting Healthy**

• A body I am proud of and comfortable in
• Wearing clothes that look good - not just cover things up
• Confidence - confidence is what I also need to write - so it would have a flow on effect
• Energy - the want to go out and about and get things done
• Pride in myself
• Belief in myself and in the knowledge that focus and daily action = results
• A success this big and life changing would have positive effects on every aspect of my life and me as a woman. I would be able to be the real me without embarrassment or shame or excuses. There would be no reason for me to hold back in anyway - the world would open up for me in so many ways.
• I could turn 30 and feel as though I was blossoming into the woman I have always been on the inside.

**Writing**

• The feeling of being the real me
• The ability to analyse life and myself
• Freedom to think, feel and speak from my heart
• Give myself a voice within the world
• Release tension and frustration
• Understand the world better through analysis
• Confidence
• Maturity
• Momentum

**Organising Finances**

• A life plan with clearly defined mile stones
• The ability to have the bigger things in life - e.g. annual holidays
• A sense of stability
• A sense of responsibility
• Power to make informed decisions
• Freedom
• Strength
• Lifestyle

**Spring Cleaning my life**

• Organisation
• A sense of freedom
• Everything could have it's own home
• Our own home would feel great
• A clutter free mind
• Open spaces
• Only the necessities
• Everything would be easily accessible
• Balance
• Guilt free spare time
• A feeling of everything being complete

***************

Well that was a bit of work - but I definitely think it was a worth while task.

I now feel a deep sense of discomfort when I think about continuing in my less than best ways. And when that is combined with what my rewards would be from doing the right thing - I feel excited and motivated about creating the life I really want.

The life I want isn't just going to magically appear one morning - it takes work. I am willing to do the work and believe it isn't as hard as I have always made it out to be. I think we just get slack and lazy and let things slide. I think with a little momentum I will be well on the way to happiness and success.

***************

Self analysis is never wasted in my view - the better you understand yourself and your actions and beliefs the more you have to work with.

It is like a teacher getting to know what makes a student tick - once you have the key you are three quarters there.

****************

Like I said the other day - never leave a decision without making a start on it's outcome. I won't go into the specifics of how I will schedule all of this - however I will make a promise to myself to get all of this done before the end of June 2009 (preferably May).

Day 2 - Empowerment - Building the momentum

Recap from yesterday - what I achieved:

• I went to the gym for an hour and burnt 700 calories
• I bought a writing diary
• I enrolled in a course - Professional Writing and Editing
• I listened to the audio book - CSIRO Total Well Being Diet
• I have researched a personal trainer locally - I just need to save for it after paying for the course!
• I finished the best book I have read in a long time The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards (http://www.memorykeepersdaughter.com/) - which inspired me to then write - 821 words (not bad for 2am).

So all in all it was a successful day! Now to build the momentum and create days like this all the time!



***Day 2***

Today I will make a list of four actions I know I should take now.

Then I will analyse why I haven't already taken the steps to complete these actions.
- What pain do I associate to doing these things?
- Why haven't I just done them in the past?
- What makes me keep putting these things off?

Then I want to know what pleasure I have had from not following through on these things..

Then I want to show myself the pain I will be in from not changing these things. I want to make it so the thought of not doing these things is far more painful than the thought of doing them.

Then I want to motivate myself with the benefits I will receive from doing it! I want to paint the big glossy picture of where I am heading and make the pleasure of that far out weigh any reason to ever procrastinate about these things again!

I'll be back to let you know what I came up with!

Day 1 - Empowerment - Finding Motivation and Momentum

I am currently completing goal setting tasks, implementing lifestyle changes and finding my personal power.

I am inviting you along for the journey - I aim to complete one task a day for the next month... I say I aim to as I work 12 hour shifts, and blah blah blah excuses. It is going to take a mighty effort on my behalf to complete all the tasks I have set myself. But I am always up for a challenge!

***Day 1*** Finding motivation and momentum. Write down two decisions or tasks I have been putting off - AND DO THEM!

Just do something I have been putting off.. Start today.

Once I have decided what my two actions are - I will do something immediately towards making them happen.

Never leave the site of a decision without taking steps to make it happen - otherwise you'll lose motivation and convince yourself you'll just do it later.


**Decision One**
**Health and Diet**


I have been sick for about 3.5 weeks. The dreaded flu (in the middle of summer!!?). My weight loss was going well before this. However since being inactive for so long I have started to put weight back on.

Decision one is to get back on the wagon and start my exercise routine again. In fact I think it is time to up the work load in the gym and go to the next level.

I have two books I need to read / research through to create a new program. One is a nutrition book and the other a weight training. I will schedule time to complete this research.

I also have the CSIRO audio book of Total Well being Diet to listen to. I will schedule this in.

I think I also have to streamline my food and exercise diary to make it quicker and easier.

And I need to monitor the funds to see if I can afford a personal trainer for a month or two and get myself exercising at a new level. Plus the benefit of having a trainer is that he/she will teach me half the stuff I feel I need to currently research and save me time!

After today's blog I will move immediately to the audio book.
Later this afternoon I will start on the nutrition book.
I will go to the gym today.



**Decision Two**
**Writing Career**



Since primary school I have been waiting to become a writer. The classic procrastinator and the classic - never succeed attitude of 'waiting' for it to magically happen.

Well no more 'one-day' - no more 'it would be nice but....' - NO MORE EXCUSES - 2009 is the year.

Success is mine in 2009!!!

Today I will find a course to start. Today I will find a way to learn the skills I need to make this career a reality.

Today I will start a way to measure my writing success.

I will start a writing diary - a diary much like my food and exercise diary. I will record the reading I have completed for the day (I believe reading is a must for any good writer). And I will record the amount of words I have written for the day (and /or the amount of minutes I have written for).

I found with the food and exercise diary - it is a great way to keep focused and motivated. For me it is also a great way to inspire a healthy competitiveness with myself... Well yesterday I burnt 300 calories in the gym - today I want to do 500.

Hopefully it will be the same. Yesterday I wrote 1000 words. Today I will write 1200!..

Today I will buy and start a writing diary.
Today I will find a course to start my writing career.

New schedule and new life here I come.


What are two things you have been putting off - why don't you join me and make a change?

Forgotten Blog?...... Never!

So anyone who reads this blog regularly might be wondering if I have forgotten how to log-in. Short answer; NO Way!

Long answer; I have been working frantically on a goal setting spree.

I believe to achieve, you need your success planned out.

You are never going to magically wake up at age whatever and say 'I am so glad everything worked out the way I wished' - it takes work and above all it takes a clear picture of what it is you aiming for.

If you only have a vague sense of what you want - or a list of things you don't want - then I am sorry to say it is unlikely you will ever just have what you want.

I am working on what goal setting method will work for me. I am trying to simplify the method and find a way to make it easy to review monthly.

I will keep you posted and perhaps it will make your goal setting sessions that much easier.

As I keep saying - I am a new person this year - with new goals and new methods of achieving. I cannot wait to see what I have achieved by the end of this year.

My motto for the year;

Success is mine in 2009!

What would I attempt if I knew I could not fail....

Given the new momentum and focus of my life over the last 10 weeks or so - I am feeling confident and passionate about my ability to make my life what I want.

I feel like I am growing into myself - I am becoming the woman I've hoped to be for so long.

I am at the start of a long journey, a journey that feels like it's going to be an uphill battle for a while - however I am looking forward to every step, and the strength I will gain along the way.

I want to be the best I can be.

I don't want or need to be the best person or better than anyone else... I just want to the best I can be, I want to know that I have fulfilled my potential - no matter what that may be.

I feel like a kid at the start of the school year aiming for an 'A' or even an 'A+'.

I don't want to find myself at age 60 - 70 or 80 - looking back on my life - and thinking 'if only' or 'why didn't I just give it a go' or 'I could have done and become so much more'.

My new attitude and self belief has me preparing for the overhaul of the next section of my life...

What would I attempt if I knew I could not fail.......

... I would - No I will successfully create a writing career for myself.

I have had a passion for writing since I was seven years old.

My crushed confidence and self defeating internal dialogue have always told me I shouldn't even try because the defeat would be too devastating. The defeat would end a life long dream and then I would have nothing to look forward to in the future.

Well the new me is saying - a dream is no where near as good a goal that has been achieved.

I will not let fear hold me back!

Failure is not an option. Every step - whether deemed to be successful or unsuccessful - is a step towards making it happen. Either I have a win or I have a lesson - from which I can find an opportunity to grow.

I am ready to find a way to make this happen. I am ready to go for it!

Day 67! - Changes are happening!

I am really looking forward to exercise now.

I am feeling motivated and gasp! Proud of myself.

I am enjoying challenging myself and pushing myself harder. I am so happily surprised at my progress and my ability to quickly improve.

I am beginning to feel as though I am making contact with my personal power - I am feeling stronger. I am taking action and seeing results - It is such an empowering feeling.

My motions are gaining momentum. Every time I get on the treadmill or bike at work in my breaks - I am aiming to burn nothing less that 100 calories (three times a day that = 300 calories during a 12 hour shift).

I am feeling athletic, fitter and healthier. I feel like the world is my oyster - that optimistic feeling I think we all left high school with before the reality of life hit.

The past 67 days have been some what all consuming - I am eating, breathing, sleeping and practising health and healthy choices. I am keeping food and exercise diaries (a must I believe for a serious life change in the health department), I am focused and unwavering in creating my new life.

My current success and momentum are creating a confidence and appetite. Confidence in my ability to turn my goals into reality.

I am ready to embrace life with passion and have faith in my abilities to be successful...

Day 66! Motion = Emotion

Sundays are my 'weigh-in' day. Today is Tuesday. My goal this week is to lose 1.5 kgs.. I big call I know - but at least it is keeping me motivated to attend the gym time and time again.

I am feeling really good. I am feeling really energetic and healthy. My motivation is high and I am happy.

Seeing that my efforts can have results is very liberating.

I feel like a seed that has waited under the earth all winter - establishing roots and strong network to rely upon - and I am just now breaking through the earth and becoming visible - I am feeling the sun for the first time and basking in the success of creating momentum. Onwards and upwards.

I feel the more I move the better I feel.
Motion = emotion. Positive up beat motions = Positive up beat emotions.
Lack of motion = stagnancy. Sitting still physically (couch potato style) = lack of momentum.

Just like water I guess. You can ride the rapids or you can sit in the pond and go no where.

Day 65! -Challenges = Opportunites-

So to keep me motivated day to day I have created a collection of visual aids....

I have gone through my diary for the next 6 months and added weigh-in dates and inspirational quotes...

I have created a graph so I can map out my weight losses, and see the big picture all at once.

I have also come to a comfortable place within myself (which for me is rather unusual) I have come the conclusion:

• I am at the perfect time and place.
  
• Everything is as it should be.
• My goals are becoming reality.
• My hard work is creating results.

This may seem minimal or trivial. But for me this a big break through.

I have lived the last few years in a constant state of tension - a constant knot in my stomach telling me that I am so behind - I have no chance of achieving any of the goals I set myself, the minutes are ticking by so fast - and what have I achieved - nothing!!....

I am now in a place where I can see the hard work paying off, and not only am I content to continue the hard work - I am motivated and inspired to apply the same amount of hard work to other areas of my life.

My life really is changing. I am changing. My destiny is changing. I am falling in love with life.

I am embracing the challenges life is throwing at me and making them into opportunities - totally empowering!!!

Day 64! Can I find the love?...

Today is day 64 of becoming a new me.....

64 days ago I started a journey to lose weight. I knew the journey would entail facing all the issues / demons I have regarding my past, that lead to me putting the weight on.. I guess I wasn't really prepared for just how confronting and consuming the journey would be...

So far I have lost 7 kgs..

In place of the 7 kgs I have developed a healthy love of the gym, (most days) and a playful competitiveness against myself and my previous results and times...

Losing weight has been on my 'to-do' list for some time. However with a large task I think we often put it off - because it is too big - or we can start tomorrow - or in my case I would eat well all week and then not see any results - so I would deem the whole practise to be a worthless exercise in self cruelty.

However 64 days ago something changed in me. I think something has been changing in me everyday since then too. I am proud that I have stuck with it this long. I am proud that I am starting a new life style - not just a diet.

The pride I have found for myself is a new and foreign concept to me.

To congratulate myself and be proud was the first step in finding me. I realised that over the last few years I have been anything but my own best friend. I have been treating myself less than I would ever want my friends or loved ones to treat themselves... I would be quick to judge and criticise myself. I would be in a constant state of disgust at my hopelessness and lack of success..

I didn't even really realise it until one day at work..

I work 12 hour shifts and aim to fit in at least 35 min of exercise on my breaks during the day (for example: 13 mins first break, 10 mins second break, 12mins last break) ((breaks are 30 minutes long)) it is a hard routine to keep up as the breaks are not negotiable - 1 minute late back has you in the hot seat and the breaks still need to include a toilet stop, food and a water bottle top up...

On this one particular day in the last 64 - I found myself leaving the change room totally disgusted with myself - I even caught myself saying - hopeless idiot - only had one goal to achieve today and all you could manage to do is 28 mins...

Then a part of me stood up to defend me that I had not previously met. It said - Lay off - you have achieved 28 minutes of hard work out time today - you should be proud.

I was stunned. I was also intrigued. Who was that? Where did that come from? Was it really alright to be proud of myself? Could I just let myself off the hook with a well done? It seemed wrong to skip over the self hatred....

And yet it felt so good.

How could I access this inner strength more often? It had felt so good it was like needing a hit of some fantastic drug again....

This was the day I started to like myself again, and realise I have inner strength.

Even with out the 7 kg weight loss - that moment alone made the last 64 days worth while.

I now have a bigger goal of trying to find love for myself now..... It feels weird to even say that - foreign - we are taught at a young age that 'loving yourself' is a sign of a big ego - or something just rude and wrong.

I believe though that loving yourself is as basic as treating yourself as you would your best friend, your lover or your sister. You are there for you and you accept and encourage you with kind words.

New me here I come.... New me - you are doing a great job!

This might be good time to mention the following website: http://futureme.org/ if you need some extra motivation - or even just a laugh - give this a go.

Quote of the day - How it relates to my current path...

If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realising that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page. -Mark Houlahan


This quote really gels with me at the moment as I am on a new path and I am writing a new story for myself. I have made many changes to my thinking and my daily routines which has without a doubt changed my life.

There is another quote swimming in my thoughts at the moment, along the lines of; To change your whole life, all you need is to change your thoughts....

I don't know who to credit that quote with, or if it is even a correct recreation of it. But I can honestly say without a shadow of doubt - this quote is true and correct in every way.

Any bad situation you may have - ANY bad situation can be changed in an instant if you just change your thoughts about it..

For instance: my childhood was so terrible, I hate my parents, they didn't even try to be good parents, they were too caught up in their own lives to care about me....
Some people will carry this thought their whole lives and inevitably re-enact their childhood for their kids - and so continues the cycle....

However if you just change your thoughts to: My parents could have done a better job, but I am thankful for their mistakes because it has made me so much stronger. I have learnt to look after myself, without the lessons they taught me (no matter how harsh and unfair they were) I wouldn't have achieved all that I have or have the burning passion to give my children a much better life. I have become a better person because of it, and I wouldn't change it for the world..

You can tell which path is the more empowering of the two... I guess I strayed down that tangent briefly because it is pertinent to where I am now.

I have been wading through my past - which I believed to be terrible and unjust (which it is) however I have realised that holding on to hurt - only keeps me hurting... It has no effect on the people I hold responsible. In fact I am taking all responsibility away from them and all the power I have allowed them to have over the last few years... I am in charge of my own life - my own feelings - my emotions - my success - my failures.

In fact I am going one step further.. I am going to use the hurt as fuel, I am using it to give me power and drive. I have forgiven them... Well maybe that is still a stretch, but I am willing to forgive them - I want it to be over with, I don't want them in my thoughts, I don't want to continue to be their victim. I am my own success. I am in control.

All of the hurt and time I've wasted thinking about the past is going into my fuel tank for energy. I am passionate about turning my life around. I am dedicated to being the best I can be. They can't stop me from achieving anything I want.... I thank them (my family) for all the unnecessary pain - without it I wouldn't have anything to prove and wouldn't be so passionate about being the best I can......

So for all the pain, hurt, bad decisions, abandonment and endangerment - THANK YOU - from the bottom of my heart. It has made me who I am, it is now the corner stone for my success.

From here on out I am writing my own story....

Why does losing weight, feel like I am losing me?

The path to losing weight (serious weight - not just 5 kgs for summer) is paved with emotional land mines.

Generally speaking no-one just gets fat because they don't have a good nutritional understanding. It is generally a long path of bad eating, over eating and comfort eating.

For most people getting fat is directly related to pain - whether they can identify that pain or not. Whether they have ever considered it or not, over eating and late night eating (just like drinking alcohol or taking drugs) is to numb a pain - a discomfort - or a general sense of lacking - or a need of something - perhaps I will get it from this packet of chips - or ice cream etc.

Something interesting I have noticed about myself is when I catch a glimpse in the mirror and notice I am shrinking - or there is less of me - I have a fleeting moment of panic.

I should be elated! I should be excited - however something in me always screams - I am losing me!!

I think the extra weight has been like a security blanket for me. You can't hurt me if you can't really see me.

This is something that I am working through and analysing. I need to let go of what ever is making me think and feel that.

One memory that springs to mind is - a day we were walking back from the beach (mum, dad, my sister and I) and we stopped in the street to speak with some locals (the gossiping locals, who were always on the look out for something new to spread) and dad made a point of commenting on and joking about the size of my thighs, and the wobble they had in front of everyone (I was about 10 or 11 years old).

They were all laughing and I was left standing there mortified. I had felt free and uninhibited during that walk before that moment.

I think that something changed in me that day. To protect myself from my dad - I need to hide myself from him. I still feel it today 20 years later - when he looks at me he judges me - he thinks his comments are funny - but really they are heartbreaking and soul destroying.

However I am now on a path that allows me to convert that pain into a positive. The strength I have had to muster over the years to deal with a man like that has made me a better person. I am not going to be bitter about it - or give him any power over me and my spirit.

I am going to use it as fuel on my fire. Call me fat did you, well look at me now.

Quote of the day

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes."
- Andrew Carnegie


I love this quote! - It is so true.

If you want to be happy and feel alive - you need to have a driving force - a goal - a future image of yourself and your life that motivates you daily and has you hungry.

2009 - My Goals - Part 1 - Personal Growth

I believe a big part of personal growth is:

• analysing yourself
• understanding who you are
• why you are you
• how you became you
• what your strengths are
• what holds you back
  
• what are your fears
• what are your dreams and goals
• what are your beliefs, values and morals
• what is your perfect life - why aren't you living it
• what makes you truly happy
• what feeds your soul

You need to understand yourself better than you understand your best friend or partner. - Not just defend yourself and your actions on a day to day basis. But to truly understand why you think, feel, react and respond the way you do. Why do you believe what you do?

I plan on asking myself the tough questions and answering them honestly and in-depth. I plan on sharing them with you on this blog during the course of the year. I plan on being closer to me, my goals and fulfilment before the year is out.

I have consumed everything personal growth, positive thinking and personal empowerment, over the last few years at an increasing rate.

As a student I feel I have passed level 1 - Understanding 101. I feel I have the overview of what creates success. I am now at the point of putting it into motion.

It is one thing to understand, it is a completely different arena to get out there and do it.... Probably much like a surgical student standing over their first patient with a scalpel in their hand. They understand, but until you have done it repetitively you don't really know.

So I stand before you and before myself - ready. Ready to give myself and my life all I have. I am ready to try and try again. I ready to be brave and reach for my goals. I am releasing my fears, I am embracing hope and my personal power.

The goal is to find love for myself, and turn my dreams into goals then reality.

I am going to achieve my goals without excuses, without reasons why it is too hard or why I can't do it. From now on it is all about how I am going to do it.

We have all been created equal, we all have a body, a mind and 24 hours in the day to use them.

If it is possible for someone else - it is possible for me.

Today I start down a new path. No map, no answers, just questions and my internal compass..

Dreamtime - 8 Jan - Family

Last night I dreamt that we had moved house (not unusual for me - I've moved 17 times since leaving home) however I dreamt that we had moved to Adelaide (that is not likely to happen) and my family was there. They were helping us to unpack and get settled. The house wasn't particularly nice - not something we would usually live in - and the family was acting like family...

That is the unusual part of the dream. My family fell apart years ago, they abandoned my sister and left us in an unsafe place, with out even calling once in a while to check on us.

My interpretation: Before bed last night I was asking myself why it bothers me so much to see people who never leave their home town (or home). People who move out of mum and dad's house, move in with their boyfriend get married have kids and never achieve anything else. I am going to write a blog entry exploring the frustration...

So my cousin is one of those people, and so are a lot of my family members, they all live in Adelaide near each other and they have never thought about moving on or finding something else in life. I think the dream was probably brought on by my train of thought before bed, along with the belief that if I had stayed near them geographically, then they would have made an effort to be a family.

http://dreammoods.com says: Family
To see your own family in your dream, represents security, warmth and love. It could also symbolize bitterness, jealousy, or rivalry, depending on your relationship with your family. Alternatively, it could mean that you are overly dependent on your family, especially if the family members are in your recurring dreams .Consider also the significance of a particular family member or the relationship you have with them.

Well I am not dependant on my family. I don't feel warmth or security from them (in my own home everything is great - this is just in relation to my extended family).

Perhaps it means rivalry. The cousin who was the main character in my dream, is the cousin I use to look up and want to be like. However over the last few years the respect I once had for her has diminished.

Dreamtime - 7 Jan - Bushfire

Last night I dreamt there were bush fires were in our region. I had packed a bag and was prepared to get the pets in the cars if need be. However we were not told we were in any danger so we went to have a family BBQ, when we got there we realised we would have to go home and get out. The drive back to the house showed houses that were burnt out - gardens and paddocks on fire. We got the pets into the cars and went to leave in a convoy...

My interpretation: My work involves emergencies, especially fires. The weather has been hot lately, perhaps it is a work related dream....

http://dreammoods.com says: Fire
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolise destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation.

Something old is passing - and something new is entering into your life - this is so true. I am currently going through major transformations in a couple of areas of my life (I'll explore this later in another entry).

I am in a phase of desire - burning passionate desire to turn my dreams into reality.

My thoughts and views are changing! The fires that I saw in my dream were no real threat - which would then suggest a metaphor for my own internal fire and inner transformation.

Dreamtime - 6 Jan - Snotty Nose

This was a little odd - and I am not sure if the dream dictionary will be able to interpret this one!

Basically I dreamt I was blowing my nose - and I was getting heaps and heaps of snot out of it. It was flowing freely and I was really enjoying the sensation of clearing out and the ease of which it was clearing.

My interpretation: Getting a clear head? Clear thoughts? I have had sinus problems for a long time - and have been looking to heal them - perhaps it symbolises getting healthier.

http://dreammoods.com says: Nose
To see your own nose in your dream, signifies a conscious effort to achieve whatever endeavour you chose to undertake. The nose represents energy, intuition, and wisdom. Your dream may suggest your need to learn more about a situation at hand. Alternatively, the nose symbolises curiosity, as in being nosy.

Spot on in the first sentence - I am in a phase of determination to achieve.

I do feel as though my intuition is becoming stronger and I am trusting it more - perhaps the clearing of the mucus was representing a cleansing of my intuitive powers.

Dreamtime - 5 Jan - Blindness

Last night was a horrifying dream. I was loosing my vision. My eyes were getting so blurry it was as though I was blind. If I turned my head to the side I could catch glimpses of things. We had moved into a new place and I felt so lost - I couldn't find my way around. I collapsed in the entrance way and people were stepping over me and wouldn't help. We also slept in a tent on the street for a while and when my partner and I went to go for a romantic carriage ride, we had a big fight and I left - I think it was meant to be our honeymoon..

My Interpretation: I am not seeing something for what it really is - I am blind to something.. I don't feel as though people are particularly helpful.

http://dreammoods.com says: Eyes
To dream that your eyes are injured or closed, suggests your refusal to see the truth about something or the avoidance of intimacy. You may be expressing feelings of hurt, pain or sympathy.

To dream that you cannot open your eyes, indicates that there is a waking situation that you are just plain refusing to see or acknowledge.

Alternatively, your inability to open your eyes may be physiological in reason. When we sleep, our eyes are closed (no kidding). So in dreaming that you are trying to open your eyes, your mind may actually be telling you to really open your eyes to the point where you actually wake up.

Ok. I can see two possibilities here. My little cat (I have a big and little cat) is really sick at the moment - I feel responsible. I also feel sympathy for the poor little fella.

However I also feel a strong attachment to - my physical body trying to open my eyes. I work 12 hour night shifts and I am afraid of falling asleep at work. I often dream that I am sleeping at work and trying to wake up - or that I have just woken up at work at there are emergencies that are going unattended... I was on night shift during this dream.

Dreamtime - 4 Jan - Plane Swooping

My dreams are usually quite long - I normally wake feeling as though I have been watching movies all night. I am only grabbing small sections of dreams that either I thought about all the next day - or were most vivid upon waking....

Last night I dreamt I was in a house (it wasn't my house or one I ever recall being in) and I was at a window near the front door. We had the door locked and were scared because there was an air plane swooping aggressively at the door.

My interpretation: I am not sure really... I guess it shows a feeling of being attacked, or under threat. I have had some plane crash dreams lately - with me on board the flight - and I have dreamt of that house before, but last time there was a whole gang of bikers trying to get in...

http://dreammoods.com says: Airplanes
To see an airplane in your dream, indicates that you will overcome your obstacles and rise to a new level of prominence and status. You may experience a higher consciousness, new-found freedom and greater awareness. Perhaps you need to gain a better perspective or wider view on something.

Airplane crash: your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

Based on this I feel it could be my goals, dreams and higher consciousness are all awaiting me - however I have locked myself away - because I lack confidence and fear I can't achieve the standards I have set. I feel I have been taking my time and I often feel my dreams are showing I need to jump in the saddle and start getting the job done. I think the plane represents 'stop hiding, get out here, you can't hide from me'

Dreamtime - 3 Jan - Dad Chasing Us

Scary Dream. I dreamt that my dad was chasing my sister and I. He was wildly angry, violent and nasty. We were planning an escape - an escape to interstate - things were falling into place - we had some assistance from friends and family. When the get away car came for us we ran to it jumped in the back seat and it took off - he ran after the car - pulled out a camera and took a photo of the number plate so he could trace us.

My interpretation: This is very much history repeating - most of this has happened in the past - except for the assistance. My sister and I were very young and we had to make our own escape without any help. It wasn't as dramatic as in the dream - however there was a night that he ran at the car as we were trying to leave the house and it kept stalling as he was getting closer.. Scary.

We have recently moved interstate and dad came to visit not long ago. Perhaps it is a fear that he now knows exactly where to find us again... And it is a regular occurrence for these dreams to surface around Christmas and New Year.

One other theory is that as I am working through my old issues I seem to dream the situation playing out - the way I wish it had years ago..... When I dream about my mum she is now free of dad, she was able to leave and be happy (this didn't actually happen) but after having the dream it felt as though some things had been put right, and a weight had been lifted. It felt as though I connected with her and we had put some old issues to rest.

"I'm Being Chased" Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your walking life. Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself.

****Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you.�

This is a scary prospect - but extremely good advice. I just said that I felt dreaming about my mum cleared up some issues for me. Perhaps I can do the same with my dad?...

Dreamtime - 2 Jan - Sis at Work / Something else

I dreamt my sister was at my place of employment doing comms work on the radio. (I work in an emergency call-taking and dispatching centre) She was organising for a pile of manure to be cleaned off the road. She was new at the job - and was already working at a level above me - we were laughing that her first job in the role was a pile of c*ap...

My interpretation is: We are waiting for a new batch of workers to be recruited - so we have been talking about her applying there. It is possible this is a dream that just reflects my daily life, with no real message.

However work did seem scary in the dream, it was night time and I did feel lost. I also feel that my sister (even though she is my little sis) is more successful than me in many ways. So perhaps it was a fear that she would come into my work place and do much better than me....

http://dreammoods.com says: Work
To dream that you are at work, indicates that you are experiencing some anxiety about a current project or task. The dream may also be telling you that you need to "get back to work".� Perhaps you have been slacking and need to pick up the pace.


*** Something else***

Something that has been happening a bit lately is, not really dreaming... I have been getting lists of names and things in my sleep state - however it feels as though someone is actually trying to communicate with me, the problem is I can't really seem to recall the names and lists when I wake. I am yet to work out what this is all about. I will continue to try and decipher these happenings and the meaning...


someone talking to me - giving me lists - giving me names - when I woke up I could only get impressions not the whole thing

Dreamtine - 1 Jan - Baby Pram

I won't bore you with all the details of my dreams (I wish some of my work mates would follow this lead) - I will just capture sections of them I feel are important to me.

I dreamt I was pushing a baby carriage, I was trying to make my through the crowd to a 'somewhere', it was as though I was going about my usual day - however I was running late, or anxious to get there....

My interpretation: I am getting to the age where I need to decide if and when I am going to have kids. Some days I think it is no big deal - and other days I think I have left it too late and I should be pregnant now... I do want a family, however I want to do it at the right time, in the right way.

The meaning as taken from: http://dreammoods.com

Baby Carriage
To see a baby carriage in your dream, symbolizes your desire for a family or longing for a baby. If the baby carriage is empty, then it indicates sadness or an unfulfilled goal. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to cater to the needs of your own inner child.

Don't say I have to, Say I choose to....

After talking about attitude yesterday, I wanted to make another attitude-definition today.

I believe attitude is the most valuable currency you can hold. It can also be the most poisonous and vile.

Your vocabulary and your internal dialogue reflects your real feelings, and programs your compass. Consider the difference in saying:

• I have to go to work today, and
• I choose to go to work today, or
• I get to go to work today

Try to stop saying I have to, as this makes you feel forced, pressured and controlled. You don't have to go to work today. You could quit, you could call in sick or you could buy a plane ticket and leave the country.

Some people will say - No I do have to go to work today, I have a mortgage to pay, or food to buy or kids to look after. So, perhaps the better attitude to have is; I choose to go to work today so I can continue make the dream of owning my own home come true.

The bigger picture holds a happier view, and reflects a better attitude.

It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day running of your life and forget about what is important. Before you know it you have been in a dead end job for 30 years, you are bitter and angry, your family no longer feels connected to you and all you have been focusing your energy on - doesn't even matter.

The job doesn't care if you had the highest attendance rate of all the staff. The job (and probably management) don't respect you for never having the courage to move on and grow as a person.

The job doesn't care that you run yourself into the ground pretending to be a martyr - and doing everything for everyone else...

All you have done is made the choice to be unhappy and stuck with it. That is not a success or an achievement in any one's book.

Life is like a house you have built from the ground up with your own hands. Everything in it reflects your choices, your decisions and your attitude.

You can never blame anyone, you can never blame circumstances for anything you are not happy with. It was your choice. You chose everything. You chose your response, your course of action (or inaction), your point of view and when to stop aiming for more.


Empower yourself with positive self talk.

Take responsibility for your actions, your decisions and your choices.

Your Opinion of the World, is a Confession of Your Character

So everyday I strive to find an inspirational quote, a positive thought or an enlightening point-of-view.

Today my favourite quotes are:

• Successful people work with what they have, and they get what they want.

I love this quote because it teaches responsibility and a can-do attitude. I am so over people saying 'I can't', 'Things will never change', 'It's too hard', 'I'm too old', 'I could never do that' or 'That's just the way it is'.

I firmly believe life is what you make of it. What you put in, you get back.

I once had a friend who always found herself in crazy situations, and had the funniest most outrageous stories to tell. Even if she had just nipped down the street for a carton of milk, she would return saying 'You'll never believe what just happened to me'....

I couldn't work out for the longest time why life would just choose to have fun with her. How could she possibly time her day in a way that would always lead to her experiencing all the fun and funny stuff.

Then when I watched and listened I realised it was her. She would leave the house with a fun and zany outlook on life, she was expecting to have a good time, a fun time, a laugh at herself or a laugh at the circumstances that were presented to her. Because of this expectation - that is what she saw, that is what she experienced.

What you give out, your get back.... If she had left the house expecting to get cut off in traffic, expecting to have her parking space stolen and expecting to be at the end of a long slow moving que at the shop, only to be served by a rude and inconsiderate check-out assistant, then this is what would happen to her.

The exact same circumstances will play out around you - it all comes down to what you focus on, and what your attitude is.

Being stuck in the long slow que can be a great time to chat to those around you, have a giggle with your shopping buddy, lighten the mood for all those around you, and invite them to have a fun interaction with you.

Or being stuck in a long slow que could result in you huffing loudly every 30 seconds to show your disapproval, checking your watch once a minute - generally when the check-out assistant is looking in your direction. And/or making remarks to those in line with you about the incompetence you feel the employee is displaying....

Both scenarios have very different outcomes for the way your day pans out. The same actions day after day have an effect on your week. The same actions week after week impact on your year and your life...

This is one of the easiest ways to create a happier and more fulfilling life, just have a good attitude. Look for what is good. Look for what is fun, look for what will make you smile - and you will find it.

The title of today's blog reflects my second quote:

• "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." - (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
  
  

What a great quote! People don't seem to see how their opinion of the world and it's daily happenings shows their attitude and some of their core beliefs.

Some of the opinions that come to mind include:

• Life is so hard
• Life is such a struggle
• You work, you pay taxes, you die
• Yeah well I can't do anything about it
• Everyone is on their own, look out for number one
• No one ever does the right thing, I've got do it all myself
• Life is nothing but pain. It's one thing after another.

• There is so much love in the world
• This year is going to be great
• Bring on the next challenge I am ready to grow
• I am so thankful
• Life has been good to me
• I am so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people
• There is so much beauty in everyday

There is a world of difference in the two lists.

They are two completely different lifestyle choices. It is a choice. Your attitude is the only thing you really have control over. You can't control people or circumstances, you can't control the traffic or the ques, but you can control your attitude to it how you act.

Your attitude is the compass that guides you through the day, the year and your life. What is yours calibrated to?

Dreams - The Open Window To The Subconscious

I am a very active dreamer. I love to dream, I dream vividly and I enjoy interpreting the meanings and messages.

I believe dreams are the subconscious having it's say. I believe they offer the keys and advice we generally want in our day to day life, and I believe they can be a place for the other side to talk to us.

Last night or should I say this morning (due to some New Years celebrations) I had a dream. It was a very vivid dream about a black duck flying around above me - it was a huge duck and it had eggs in a nest in a tree (it obviously wasn't an accurate documentary on the nesting habits of ducks) but it was a very forceful dream..... I don't like that word - but it was as though the image kept replaying and trying to burn it's self into my memory, not stopping until it was definitely going to be remembered upon waking.

I looked up the meaning of the dream, and this is what I found:

To see bird eggs in your dream, symbolizes money (awesome, you can't complain about that!)

To see flying ducks in your dream, represents spiritual freedom. Ducks are multi-talented animals that can walk, swim and fly and thus may represent your flexibility and in blending into various situations.

Birds: To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represents joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

These are from the Dream Moods website: http://www.dreammoods.com

Isn't it funny how reading an interpretation can clearly and concisely sum up a point that was previously an unexplored emotion, or a vague feeling. I brushed on this in yesterday's blog - but I didn't really explore the whole situation.

I am currently feeling freer and happier. I feel like this is my time to shine, and this year I am going to start experiencing success by my standards, in areas that matter to me. I feel I am on the path to happiness and enlightenment, and I feel that letting go of my fears and excuses has been a liberating experience.

I am really excited to see what I will be writing exactly one year from today in this blog. Will I be summing up my greatest successes and reaching for new goals I never thought were possible? Will I be proud of myself? Will I be happier?

All I can do is try.
Not trying is failure.
To fail while trying is a lesson learned and therefore a success in it's self.